Up front, I will claim to have barely scratched the surface on this topic, however, God is asking me for more. It is a fact that the closer I walk with the Lord, several things happen. First and foremost, my sin is exposed to me, and I get a clear look at what God thinks about it. An overwhelming up-chuck reflex comes over me. A period of confession, repentance, and restoration comes next. This is not the fun part. In fact, this is ugly, distasteful, and really tough. It reminds me of the 24 hour stomach bug that stopped me in my tracks a few weeks ago. Yuck.
Inevitably, freedom follows. This is a deep, fresh breath. A sigh of relief. I can now see and appreciate God's goodness once more. And yes, God is sooo good. He fills me with joy, delight, and clarity. To be true to myself, this is the best part. It's my favorite. It is at this point I understand my journey of Christianity is not about me or how I feel. It is the truth that He wants to bless me, encourage me, speak to me, and see me delight in Him. It's like an ice cold glass of water to quench my thirst, or perhaps a Coca Cola Classic. Delicious.
Next comes the expectations that God has of me. To walk continually in His presence, and continue to find my delight in Him. It is at this time when I feel closest to my husband, my daughter, and my other family and friends. This is the life. Everything is clicking now. I'm following His lead, doing His work, and for His glory. If only to stay pure in thought, word, and deed so as not to repeat the cycle.
Indisputably, the cycle is indeed repeated. However, I continue to learn, and thirst for more. Therefore, my relationship deepens with Him. Therefore, I choose not to strive for a blameless life, but rather one that is honest, diligent, and righteous.