Sunday, October 9, 2011



  [uhn-rav-uhl] Show IPA verb, -eled, -el·ing or (especially British-elled, -el·ling. verb (used with object) 
1. to separate or disentangle the threads of (a woven orknitted fabric, a rope, etc.).  
2.  to free from complication or difficulty; make plain or clear;solve: to unravel a situation; to unravel a mystery. 
3. Informal to take apart; undo; destroy (a plan, agreement,or arrangement).

... Now this is an actual photo that I just HAD to take one afternoon while vacuuming. Err, well I will use the word "vacuuming" very loosely for a moment so I can explain myself. This one picture has me wrapped up pretty well for now.  This was one of those moments in time where God reveals something to you so vivid, so real, so spot-on, that its undeniable. It may be good news or bad news, but nonetheless, it reminds us that God is still speaking.  

So there I was, trying my best to get the house clean (this was actually about 4 months ago. And yes, you can be assured I have cleaned the house several times since then. No, this was not the last time I used the vacuum :) which, to be at "my best" can still be substandard in comparison to other houses I've been in.  I don't necessarily KEEP the house clean as well as I do CLEAN it when its time. That time is most often because we have company or it just gets unbearable. I remember this was getting to the unbearable stage, especially with the carpet. I drug out that big ole piece of blessed machinery, tried to decide which plug was the closest, and began to push and pull my way through the living room, dinning room, and foyer.  

Pretty quickly, the vacuum was falling down on the job.  I would see a piece of dirt go in, then rush back out to a cozy nook in the carpet. Or worse, I'd see a piece of perfectly small, lightweight debris just cling to the threads of the carpet, to which this massive name-brand vacuum had met its match.  Over and over again. Of course, I kept trying and I kept it moving, wishing and hoping it was just a fluke. Then I did the typical diagnostics-turn off/on the brushes; I tried adjusting the level of the brushes; I even went as far as to dump the trash compartment, clearing the dust and filter.  Each time I'd fire up that vacuum and go again, I got the same result. I knew it. I was afraid of it, and I LOATHE it. It's just like when the little particles of food get caught in the bottom of the drain in the sink (YUCK)... the brush had to be unravelled. 

There was too much string, hair, particles, and debris in the brush. The thing wasn't even spinning! It was caught up on itself. So there I was, on my knees, sweaty, frustrated, and almost to the point of tears. In my quest for a clean house, I had to get to the bottom of this! During the process, I had what seemed almost an audible voice from God putting me in my place.  Much of what I had been through in my life (and was about to go through) was some unraveling.  That pile of nastiness stared at me with a smug grin because it had almost gotten the best of me. Realizing what I had accomplished, or I mean CONQUERED, I could not resist the urge to grab my camera and snap a picture.  The pride I felt was the same as when my daughter shows me her latest crayola creation. I wanted to show it off!

Again and again, this visual has been brought to my mind as definition and clarity.  Lately I've been just simply unravelled. Not that I've lost my way or lost myself. But there is a new sense of business that has captured my heart. I've cried, I've been silent, I've been up and down.  An emotional roller coaster, my heart has been stretched and broken. Like my heart is at work, a full time job, and it's working nearly 60 hours a week, without over-time pay. I can remember someone saying to me once, "be careful when you ask God for brokenness, that's one prayer He will certainly answer."  Since my attempt to keep myself "all together" has honestly failed in the last year or so, I'm looking to slay the control freak inside of me. Of all the do-ing I've been doing, I have gotten knotted up, tangled, and shut down.  I like the definition, "to make plain, clear... undo."