Convalescence

I'm currently going through a time of recovery, mainly physical, but even more I'm learning it's spiritual as well.  Convalescence is a word I've heard of before, like in the movies or on TV.  It's not so much a term used often in everyday language.  It refers to the period of time following an illness or surgery, specifically including rest.  I found this word when I googled "When can I return to work after having pneumonia?"  ... that's right, pneumonia.

Let me take you back one week, it was the flu.  Let me take you back ten days before that, it was a car wreck (insert quick explanation-I'm fine, he pulled out in front of me and has terrible insurance).  Now let's go back about a month prior to the wreck, and its the day after my dad has surgery following his diagnosis of prostate cancer (insert quick explanation-he's now cancer free :) and recovered, they found it early!) I don't think he'll mind me publishing his personal business, since he knows I've put him on every prayer list I can.  That, and the fact this blog isn't hitting the front page of any big news paper.

Let's back up about 3 more weeks, it's now December 8th, 2012.  This is the day we had scheduled our youth Christmas party, and 2 days after I had the pleasure of hosting the women's Christmas party for my church (SUPER fun!).  Life seemed normal, which meant it was busy-which is perfectly normal...for me.  I had just dropped off Mya with family friends of ours and was headed home to help host the party.  In an instant (that's usually how it happens) the guy in front of me slammed on his brakes, I slammed on my brakes, spun out, and slammed into the concrete median on the interstate.  Lungs full of the airbag debris, and no clue what had just happened.  I climbed out of the explorer, totally disoriented, and at the mercy of strangers trying to help me.  I eventually went off to the hospital on a board and in an ambulance just for precaution.  I might spare you the embarrassing details, but let's just say I was in shock.

THANK GOD the only lingering injury I have from the wreck is my fractured tailbone.  If you have every experienced this, than you know what a total pain in the-well you know..... It's bothersome, and really only flares up when I'm on my rear for too long.

Ok, so now you see where my convalescence has been earned.  It's been a tiresome two months. And let's not skim too lightly over the flu/pneumonia incident either, I have not been through any illness like that! It's a blur, and amazing to me that simple things like breathing, and walking, much less going upstairs...tires me out so easily.

Now, I'm a believer in the fact that we go through experiences in life for a reason, wether we led ourselves there through our decisions, or God allowed it, or it's God's will.  Regardless, if you've read any of my other entries in this blog, you are familiar with my wanting to take something away to learn and grow from this.

I have taken the first wreck to mean it's time to get moving, get off my stump, and end the laziness.  As we started the new year at church, our pastor delivered series on Awake, Seek, Engage.  The awake portion especially spoke to me.  Check it out here.  I will admit that I've been undisciplined in my walk with the Lord.  I have slacked in almost every way- reading His word, in my prayer life, and in relationships.  It's so easy to just get by, do the minimum.  And I find it so curious the enemy tangled me up in laziness...especially since I work against it every day with my students at school and my child at home.  Regardless, I'm resolved to get up off my rear (and I'm reminded of that each time my tailbone aches).

Lastly, this recent recovery from the wrecks and my pneumonia has begged me to slow down in my busy-ness of life.  If it makes sense, I know now that God wants me to awake and get off my butt spiritually, and for my busy-ness to be about Him.  I hate that I had to learn some of theses lessons and hear from God through these experiences, but that's the consequence to ignoring the Holy Spirit.  My doctor put it best, in his reluctance to release me back at a certain time for work (in some cases, I read online, 4-6 weeks...WHAT??? Who can be out of work for that long? Recovering after child birth maybe!)  He told my husband, I know she thinks she has things she HAS to do, but she has to rest.

Don't get me wrong, not all is doom-and-gloom for me, but it's these major life changes that cause me to reconsider things.  It's not "woe is me" but more, WOA!  What's up with me?  So, my spiritual clocked has been cleaned, and I'm on to the next with the Lord.  I feel like I'm spiritually awake, recovering, and finding rest in Him. This is convalescence... to those around you, you are basically back to normal, but there requires a bit more time and healing.

Old Friend

Just like and old friend, the kind that is your best friend, you pick back up where you left off.  You haven't seen or heard from them in a long time.  But when you see their face and hear their voice it all comes rushing back. Usually it's awkward at first, and there's some catching up that needs to be done.  There's also the inevitable acknowledgement that things have changed.  And there is at least one opportunity to say "I'm sorry" for being a bad friend and not keeping in touch better.

I think at one point or another, we go through this.   It's part of life.  It's perfectly normal to let someone or something go, and then seize and opportunity to pick up the pieces, where ever those pieces are, and start again.  That's how I feel about writing.  It's like this long lost friend that I just love spending so much time with.  In fact, I haven't reconnected with this old friend of mine for all the reasons we don't reconnect with any of our old friends: time and necessity. I think certain people are part of our lives for a specific time and specific purpose. Wether we are to pour into them or we are to be poured into.  Some friends are to come along side you and walk through stretches of life together.

In any sort, that's exactly my heart about my writing.  I know it's something I want to do, and that God has called me to do it.  I have a story to tell, just like any of us do, and God has called us to share it.  There is no mistake to my circumstances or experiences, and I know that by my writing I'm able to get this story out there.  This is a story of me.  It's of accomplishment, disappointment, hope, and even sorrow.  I believe that's the same as any of your stories as well.

I'm now intending to take time to write, out of love and necessity.  When I write, I think better, I process my thoughts better, and I am able to see different perspectives again.  I also simply love to do it. That part is hard to explain. How do I explain my love of music and playing my flute? How do I explain my love for teaching?  How do I explain my love for my husband or my daughter? It's just one of those things I guess.

So, please.  Forgive me, for not being around, and not staying in touch.  Can we pick up where we left off? I know it will be a little awkward at first, and yes-things have changed.  All of it will come rushing back, I hope.  Thanks, old friend!