These past few months I been in sort of a wilderness. I've been praying continually for peace and a deeper hope in the Lord. There is a large amount of uncertainty surrounding me. However, I know that if I look back, I see evidence of God's grace, goodness, and faithfulness throughout my life. Therefore, I have every reason to trust and take steps of faith in return. Part of that step includes giving a voice to my belief. So when asked, I must respond in a fashion that reflects my heart. It honors my Lord when I say, "God is faithful, and though I'm uncertain of the future, I am certain of Him. I have hope in Him."
Funny thing...God gave me a picture yesterday during worship, take it or leave it. This is not Gospel by any means...
I was standing in a hallway lined with doors on either side of me. I was facing the end of the hallway, which seemed to have no definite ending but I knew it represented the Lord. I heard the interpretation like this...continue towards me and I will open the door for you, then you will know it's me (the Lord). This is in contrast to how I usually operate, stand at a door, spend time with it, stare it down, bang on it, shout at it, cry over it, obsess over it...and step back to see it was really a wall the entire time.
The sermon which followed was about praying instead of worrying. "Warriors vs. Worriers" ...nice...I learned so much. Our bodies were not meant for fear, anxiety, or worry. In fact worry is most often unreasonable because we worry over things we cannot change or things we can't control. Worry by definition is fear because we do not have control. But, how disastrous it would be for me to have control of my own life! Rather idiotic, in fact. Away from me, demon of worry! Oh and, I made a list of my current worries and frustrations, I now call it my prayer list.
There are so many other examples of how God has been speaking this same message to me, through others' blogs, testimonies, songs, scriptures, conversations with friends, other circumstances around me, and even in the devotional Bible that I read to my daughter at night. And just for funzies...1 Peter 1:3-9, Jeremiah 29:11-14, Matthew 6:25-34, Romans 5:1-11.
In all honesty, I'm now left with a joyful heart. I wait in anticipation to be surprised, amazed, and fascinated. Because, when the door does open (and it will), I can proclaim God's goodness. He then gets the glory, and that's the whole point, right?
Sigh.
